So, how full are your garbage cans?  Go back for a moment and think on your days of yesteryear.  Can’t you just hear those resounding words heard around your house at least twice per week…”Johnny/Susie, take out the trash.”  If you were like me then (and much like my son today) you had to be told over and over again to do this simple task.  It seems like from the earliest of ages we have been encouraged to “get rid of the trash” but just like when we were little kids we resist and/or procrastinate choosing instead to allow the garbage of our lives to overflow until the stink sets in. Rather than rid ourselves of the stuff that can foul up our lives we tend to hang on to or recycle our trash instead of getting rid of it. Think about this.  Don’t you find yourself listening to the continual rerun of the lies that have been written on your heart over the years?  I do at times.  These lies have a way of keeping the lid on our lives and the trash in.  This essentially relegates us to a sort of bondage from becoming the very people we have been created to be, infinitely worthy, immeasurably valuable.  So how do we rid ourselves of our trash once and for all?  Where do we find the keys that unlock the doorway to freedom from the lies?  The answer is simple but taken to heart and put in to practice is profound.  In short, it is the truth.  Not just any truth but the “Truth,” the very word of God.  Once there you’ll find two amazing promises amongst the thousands to behold.  First, the Truth will set you free and secondly, there is no lie in Truth.  Dwell on that for a bit, embrace it and live in it for a lifetime.  I bet you’ll find, as will others, a life-changing, fragrant aroma to your life.  Peace.  

So, have you ever been blackmailed?  Chances are very few if any of us have faced such a life altering event.  That situation where someone or some group has taken something from you and is threatening to expose you to the world unless you pay up some huge amount of ransom in return for what’s been stolen.   A quick study of past and recent history would suggest that most of the time these types of cases seem to be reserved for the wealthy and famous people of our society. The good news is that this leaves most of us somewhat insulated from ever having to face the agonizing and debilitating effects of dealing with such a traumatic life event.  Sometimes it can be as devastating as a loved one being taken hostage while at other times it can be something as intangible as our reputation being called into question .  Yet in both cases the stakes are high and those involved are often left to deal with the paralyzing and suffocating threat of being exposed.   Could it be though the largest and most pervasive threat that looms over us is ourselves?  Could it be that we routinely engage in acts of self-extortion?  Here me out on this.  To the degree that we hide behind our weaknesses or those nagging irrational fears we are in effect blackmailing and holding ourselves hostage.  We are extorting our strengths and rational thinking in exchange for the ransom of a promise.  A promise that no one will ever find us out!  We take the best of ourselves and begin to believe the worst because we listen to the irrational lies that tell us we must be the only one who struggles with…name your weakness or irrational fear.  It’s as if we are trying to keep a secret from the world.  This is an oppressive posture to live under.  It too is suffocating, paralyzing and can be debilitating.  So what can we do about it?  Well I think we can turn to the “secret” for the answer.  Noodle on this for a minute.  If someone has a secret and lets the secret be known to even just one person there is no more blackmail.  The energy gets taken out of the secret as it goes from darkness into the light.  The value of the information being held no longer has a stranglehold on us because we’ve shared it.  So lead with transparency.  Let others know what you’re struggling with.  Invite them into your life.  Don’t let the enemy win by taking the rational and making it irrational in your mind.  Pursue authenticity. Live in the light of day. You’ll be stronger for it!  Peace.   

So, what’s your formula?  Can you think of how many times over a lifetime someone might ask you for your unique formula for…fill in the blank.  Whether it is success, raising good kids, sticking to a diet, etc. most people are looking for answers to life questions in hopes of finding the winning formulas for living in a complicated and complex world.  Certainly we would all agree that there is much to be learned from the successes as well as the mistakes of others. As I write this one of life’s most common clichés come to mind that seems to speak to this notion… “Why recreate the wheel?”  In other words, why redo the tried and true.  Well, I’d like to offer you a formula that was borne out of a difficult life lesson of mine from some number of years ago. Though I didn’t see the foundational and transformational power of the lesson back then I certainly have in the years that have ensued since that time.  Here’s the formula…P + I = V or Product + Installation = Value. Now you’re probably really wondering what on earth that has to do with living life in this crazy world.  You see, in my own experience I had been, like many, one of those to gather books, perhaps read them, only to put them back on the shelf and go on living life. The problem was nothing in me had been changed. So where was the value in that?  Was I simply accumulating more knowledge in my trek towards an intellectual ascent?  You see, it’s only as we begin to translate our knowledge (P) into understanding by way of application (I) that we find real and lasting value (V). I’ve even found myself saying, “The world doesn’t need another book it just needs people who will do something with what they already know.”  Ultimately I found I just needed to do something with (install) what I already knew.  The truth is the world does need more books and we all need to gather more knowledge but only if we are going to seek to “install” or do something with what we learn or even perhaps, what we already know. One could easily argue that there is even an inherent responsibility to use and give away the knowledge we have been given. This seems foundational to living a transformed life…whether you are the one being transformed or the one being used as the agent of transformation in the life of another.  So try the formula on for size and see what you think. Peace.  

So, how do you spend your time? Several weeks back we talked about the idea of how time had become one of our most precious resources.  We considered how beginning to view life in seasons of time might help usher in a shift in our thinking such that time, though elusive in one sense, might no longer seem like it is constantly escaping us. The thought of carving up the time continuum into more manageable and measureable pieces would certainly seem to help us see real progress, real life change being made in our lives and potentially the lives of others. But there seems to be more to this topic of time!  Being a self-professed “plate-spinner” I’ve continued to mull the characteristics of time over and over in search of what it might take for us to find more time in our day or if it was even a conceivable idea.  Well, the other day during my ride back to the office from lunch I may have found one of the keys that could unlock the doorway to having more time in our lives.  I must tell you though it comes from a very unlikely source, the 80’s rock band known as the Eagles.  With my radio tuned to the “classic” stations one of the Eagles more popular songs began to play…one that contained these lyrics, “You can spend all your time making money or you can spend all your love making time.”  Could it be that as we rightfully replace the preeminent pursuit of making money with an intentional purpose to love one another we might just begin to find more time in our lives?  If giving begets the receipt of blessing then it seems plausible that the blessing we receive from giving of a time that is motivated by a love for one another is an even greater capacity of time to love (and be loved).  Perhaps this is the origin of one of life’s most elusive clichés, “My cup runneth over.”  It certainly seems the more time we spend with one another; time that is motivated by love, the more we will experience the regenerative effect love has on our time.  So could the Eagles have had it right all along?  Is this yet another affirmation to persuade us to pursue one of life’s two greatest commands…to love one another? Do we have a decision to make?  Do we need to spend all of our time making money or can we spend some of our love making time? Peace.

So, what is your perspective on life?  Some number of years ago in a different era of my life I had the opportunity to hear what was billed out to be a “motivational” talk given by a National Geographic photographer. Initially, I have to admit I was quite curious about the correlation between professional photography and motivation.  Perhaps you would have been too.  As the presentation began this gent launched into the story of a recent trip he had been on to shoot the “cover shot” for a National Geographic expose’ about a remote village in South America.  While all seemed to be progressing as expected a major problem arose on the day of the shoot…the van that was sent to escort him to the village never showed.  Not wanting to waste the day the photographer decided to make a trek towards a waterfall he had noticed in the distance while waiting for his ride.  Once upon it he became captivated by the beauty of the waterfall and began to take picture after picture aiming to capture the sheer elegance of nature on display.  As he was recounting his story to the group he began to show us a sampling of the pictures he had taken while also offering a vivid, running commentary that was no less beautiful than the pictures themselves.  I must tell you each picture appeared more stunning than the one that preceded it.  With each picture came an exhortation to consider the parallels between the beauty of nature and the intricate beauty of life. Up to this point in his presentation every picture shown had been taken from the vantage point in front of the waterfall.  A somewhat pregnant pause ensued and then he captured the very breath of the crowd as he began to show pictures taken from behind the waterfall.  It was then that it hit me.  Sometimes life looks even more beautiful from “behind the waterfall.”  Consider this. So often we limit our perspective on life to the obvious essentially relegating ourselves to living a life of the “status quo.”  How much more of life might we see if only we were to take those few extra steps to see what hidden gems of life can be found by looking deeper into things. How much more might we learn about the nuances of relationships if we were to consider the lens through which those around us see life?  How different would our lives look if we were to take the road less traveled…the road that might just take us behind the waterfall?  Could it be that this is where we would finally discover what a friend so fondly refers to as “the waterfall of grace?”  This seems to me to be a road worth taking.  How about you?  Peace.      

So, does your baggage fly for free?  If you are a Southwest Airlines customer you know what I’m referring to.  While most airlines are charging stiff fees for checked baggage Southwest has differentiated itself in a big way by allowing travelers to check two items of baggage at no cost…free of charge. This has caused me to think lately about the baggage of life and ask this question, “How do we begin to get free from the baggage of life?”  Well a couple of things come to mind. First, if you’ve traveled at all lately you would have experienced the crushing reality that more and more people are choosing to “carry on” their baggage. Isn’t this in many ways what we tend to do with the baggage of life? You know those situations of life, ones that are most often regrettable, that we have experienced that have a way of staying with us throughout our lifetime. The “baggage” that, left unclaimed, most often influences and informs our view of ourselves and can negatively affect even our closest relationships. Doesn’t it seem life just has a way of heaping baggage on us that we carry with us everywhere we go or to every relationship we encounter. Part of the answer certainly lies in being sure to keep our load light by minimizing the number of situations we get into that will “load us up” with baggage.  If we don’t, it just gets heavier over a lifetime.  The real answer though is found in checking our baggage and never having to go to Baggage Claim again? Think about this parallel.  At the outset of many trips I’ve checked my baggage with the curbside baggage handler who in turn sends my baggage on to the airplane which in turn carries my baggage for me for the duration of the flight. This simple step lightens my load and frees me up for awhile. Having arrived at my destination however I then have to go straight to Baggage Claim to retrieve my baggage taking on the weight of the baggage all over again. What if we could hand off our baggage to life’s ultimate “baggage handler” and never have to retrieve our baggage again?  How free would we be and how would this lighten the load of our lives?  There is One who longs to handle and lay claim to all of the baggage from our lives.  One who desires that we journey through life freed up from the bondage of the past so that we can choose to live our future as a captive who’s been set free?  Do you know Him? If not, write me. Just know this. With Him not only does our baggage fly for free…better yet…there is none! Peace.     

So, how well known are you? So often this is the question used by many to determine a person’s worth but it is simply the wrong question. The reason, though apparent, can so easily be overlooked. It’s a question that seems to suggest our popularity, how well we’re liked, how many friends we have are the basis for our worth, clearly an illusionary barometer for determining the value of ones life. What I’d like for us to consider today is another question, one that when understood and pursued will yield significant and lasting value to our life. The question is, “are you known well?”  I’ve had the privilege of spending the last eleven years engaging many guys in meaningful conversation about their life in generalities as well as the granular specifics of their life. Throughout the years each conversation has expressed unique stories but there have been a few resounding themes that have echoed over and over again.  One such theme is this…many men are well known but few men are known well.  Let’s consider this paradoxical reality. Just think of the energy it takes to be well known or better said to keep up the image that you want others to think you are or even perhaps the person you think they need you to be.  I’ve come to learn that most men spend their life’s energy on who they’re not, living with the ever present fear of being found out. Just think of the angst and anxiety that comes from what is in effect perpetuating a lie (we’re not who we project ourselves to be) and living with the constant fear of being “found out.”  This is tantamount to living our life as an imposter or living life “behind the mask.”  And when we think about living behind the mask or being someone we’re not we must realize, as a friend of mine says, “If you live your life behind a mask only the mask get’s loved.” Take a moment and think about the implications of all of this.  To the degree that we’re only being loved at the mask or surface level it suggests we’ll never know the immeasurable value that comes from being in authentic relationship.  It also suggests that we’re more than likely to allow ourselves to only love others at the surface level. And we haven’t even talked about the generational implications of continuing along this path.  But oh, to be known well.  This is a place of safety, a place of transparency, a place of comfort, a place of rest that will allow each of us the opportunity to be authentically loved so as to be free to become the very person we were designed to be. No more imitations…just the real deal. How different might our lives look if we made it a passion to be known well and to know others well?  Could it be that we might just get re-energized about life? Peace.

So, what is your net worth?  Traditional methods would tell us that we need to look at our personal balance sheet for the answer to this question of defining our financial wealth. If by chance you don’t know the formula it is, “assets – liabilities = net worth” or in other words subtract the value of the assets we own from the amount of debt we owe and you get the sum total of our financial worth. For many this valuation approach extends well beyond the financial and actually begins to define the value of their life’s efforts or in some cases, their value as individuals. But if there’s one lesson we all should have taken away from the events of the last few years it’s that anything measured from a financial perspective is subject to a great deal of volatility and in many cases, loss. Rather than being paralyzed (and disillusioned) by this reality perhaps we need to take this time to reorient our perspective towards building our life’s portfolio with a new currency in mind…the currency of life.  Think about this!  What if we begin to see our net worth in light of the immeasurable value of authentic relationships?  You know each of us has been given a measure of “relational” capital to spend investing in the lives of others.  And there’s something very unique about this type of investing, in particular the return on choosing to invest in the lives of people. Think about this.  Investing in people carries with it a guaranteed rate of return.  It’s more commonly known as being more blessed by giving than receiving.  The more of ourselves we invest in the lives of others the more our investment grows to the point where it seems we simply can’t outspend our investment. Our relational cup just seems to overflow in an amazing regenerative way.  As we invest in others and they, in turn are encouraged to invest themselves in others, our initial investment lives on.  This is what I would call the ultimate “life” dividend reinvestment strategy.  And best of all, as we build our net worth as seen through the lens of authentic relationships we are building up assets that we can “take with us” unlike the kind that grow rusty or rot away.  You see the currency of life here on earth and heaven is and will be found in and through our very real relationships with people. Perhaps it’s simply time to do a currency exchange. No doubt we’ll be richer for it! Peace. 

So, where’s your Florida?  Every year thousands of people from the Northeast and other parts of the country leave the comforts of their homes to head south to spend their winters in “sunny Florida.”  In many circles these folks are kindly referred to as “snowbirds.”  In reality though it seems more appropriate to observe they are actually fleeing the impending discomforts of their homes brought on by the brutally cold winters of the north. Having grown up in Florida I’ve seen this scene play out year over year for as long as I can remember.  Doesn’t it seem many of us follow the same pattern so as not to have the face the “winter” seasons of our lives?  Don’t we expend untold amounts of energy (and money) trying to escape those times in our lives when instead of experiencing a winter wonderland we are facing our own winter wastelands?  As I write this, myself and a few friends are working our way through a book that has us identifying the various winter seasons of our own lives.  You know those times of life when we feel as though we’re in the desert wastelands with no water in sight. As we’ve met and discussed this as a group we’ve seen that sometimes the winter season is short and at other times it feels like the harshness of the drought just keeps on coming.  To gain a better grasp on the implications of this to our individual lives we’ve found ourselves drilling down on both the big picture and shoe leather perspectives on what and how our winter seasons have made us into the people we are today. Perhaps you can think of your own winter seasons.  Perhaps too you can pinpoint how these times of difficulties have made you stronger for the ensuing days ahead. But isn’t that the point of winter?  In fact, doesn’t winter always foretell the coming of springtime? A time when the resistant or controlling areas of our lives get pruned back in such a way as to provide for the new growth brought about by a changed life.  Unlike the annual pilgrimage of the “snowbird” from the north to Florida to escape winter shouldn’t we welcome wintertime in our personal lives as we anticipate the harvest of springtime?  Think on this.  Isn’t it so often true that we usually emerge from the greatest times of struggle into stronger, more resilient people? So, should we actually be fleeing to Florida or find our Florida right where we are?  Absent a growing faith it seems we’ll always choose to flee rather than “winter” with the One that holds our future in his hands. Peace.             

So, will I live for the transaction or will I live to be transformed?  At the beginning of each new year I try to set aside some time to reflect on what question would be good to keep at the forefront of my thought as I enter into and move my way through the year ahead of me.  This simple step over the years has proven to be invaluable as I’ve sought to stop and take inventory of the past and look ahead with a greater sense of purpose, to create a greater sense of value for my life.  And doing so has enabled me to get out of the daily weeds and stay somewhat focused on the bigger picture of life.  A recent years question was the one asked above; “will I live for the transaction or will I live to be transformed.”  As we consider the implications of this question, it is certainly true that life is dealt out in a series of transactions, many of which are of great value in and of themselves.  But what matters most when we look back is whether or not we or someone else has been changed by the cumulative effect of the transactions of our life. In other words, has there been an element of transformation in our life or have we been used as an agent of transformation in the life of another.  Let’s simply consider our encounters with people.  Do we see people as a means to an end (transactional thinking) or do we see people as worthy of being encouraged and seek to affirm their worth (transformational thinking).  All of us, after all, are of infinite worth!  Do we view our encounters with people as interruptions or invitations into each other’s life story?  There is much of the “larger story” of life that is being written each day as we engage the world around us.  The design of life is such that each of us is used in the lives of each other to help shape our own individual stories and the larger story of living.  Perhaps you might consider the implications of this question in your own life.  I can certainly attest to the fact that this foundational (and possibly transformational) question has certainly proven to be a good guidepost for me as I’ve sought to become more of the person I’ve been designed to be.  Peace.